They Call Me Cheeky Chaturanga

The year 2002 was signalised by two remarkable events: Firstly, I found a dusty typewriter in the back of a Tibetan Monastery’s stationary cupboard and secondly the phenomenon that is internet dating went BOOM! Now, you may think of us yoga poses as being innocent and virtuous but our guilty secret is that we have been dating long before the abundance of classified personal adverts and online dating sites sprang up like creaky bed springs in a student flat. We have always been more subtle; a brush of the arm here, a bend of the leg there. However, due to the increasing change of the monsoon and mistral winds, popping to Byron Bay to chase the summer sun has meant that as soon as you meet a good pose, you have a few breaths together, maybe a Namaste (if you are lucky), then they are off! So after much pondering, lotusing and some serious meditation - bordering on levitation, of which at one point I thought we had lost Savasana into a coma (they soon came round when the heating went off) we decided to establish a personal classifieds bureau for the yoga poses. In the early days, the nerve-centre for the “Yoga Personals Bureau” was in a borrowed cupboard in a yoga studio in Sydney. However, it was always so stiflingly hot that when it came to copy deadline day I was crankier than a 30 year old Ford Capri. So there I was- a sweaty mess: I needed a change; the personals need a new home. Then, Yoga Will Save the World came to the rescue and asked us to come and stay! Without hesitation, and one deep breath later, it was off to London. We now run the personals from the home of ywstw; we have great views of the Thames and the yoga induces more of an enthusiastic glow rather than a molten drip. Brilliantly, the numbers of personals submitted has steadily grown with the more dynamic of the bunch throwing themselves into it head, feet and backs first. This brings me to why I am writing this. We at the personal bureau are saving up to put a deposit on a yoga yurt for the festival season and we thought we could raise a dollar or two by publishing our personals. We had our Annual General Meeting last month to vote on this (woo- exciting times). It was tricky to get the poses to be still and it was hard to hear over the omm-ing and aum-ings but we bumbled through and so here we are, sharing some of the shenanigans with you. All in all it has been great fun with many success stories told and flushed faced seen, and apart from the Half Lotus, who has been as silent as an early Charlie Chaplin film since their date with that old backbend, Camel, things have been good. If you see any pose that tickles your fancy get in contact, we’d love to hook-you-up. Namaste, yoga will save the world.  Editor-in-Guru Disclaimer: Any similarity between these adverts and their dating shenanigans and any real person is purely coincidental. Especially if either of these persons is Rebecca Wilson or Shelly Donaghy. The incident that Rebecca was involved in with Headstand “the hat” Sirsasana was not proven to be true in any legal place (the Dog and Duck Pub does not count) and the decision not to talk about it EVER again still stands. Of course, Rebecca can never go back to the “Shout if you love yoga studio” again but I think it is a tattoo parlour now anyway. So, like I said, don’t mention it to her and all will be good in the world.  Editor-in-Guru’s solicitor

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